i just wanna soil my oats bro
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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