Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
