very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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