We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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