Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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