I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
this just has baby written all over it
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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