I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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