im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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