i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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