nutella sex= disaster
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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