HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We were destined to go to rehab together
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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