you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Two words: blizzard sex
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
