yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
