I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
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she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
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YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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