well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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