I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
