pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
