you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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