Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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