he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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