Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Michael Bay diarrhea
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
