i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
