Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
