So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
