dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
