I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
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So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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