he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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