Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
