Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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