i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He? As in you personified your dick?
Randomize
