I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
