Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
