im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
