Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
