So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I smell like Dick and happiness
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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