You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
