i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
