We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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