I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
false alarm, still single
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
