peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
