Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
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Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
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Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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