Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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