Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Randomize
