It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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