are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
