oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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