That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize