Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
