Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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