he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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