Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Success! We fucked roommates!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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