She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
