He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
