You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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