I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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