I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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