We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
