I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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