would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
