eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize