? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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