Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
